holy nimoy
by tk must die
Summary: do not read if you dont go to coloma! you will not understand! Loise, this is for you!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon. Nor do I own any of the teachers in Coloma. Damn!  
  
Louise Murphy blackmailed me into doing this. It's revenge.  
  
As Mr Hughes walked down the corridor of Coloma convent girl's school, he began to feel the strain of being not only lord overseer of the whole of Coloma, but god too. Immediately walking into room nine was a maths class was going on he went straight away to the back to put away some textbooks.  
  
"What are you doing?" asked the ancient Scottish maths teacher looking bewildered. Mr Hughes turned around mid stride and gave the woman his 'do not mess with me insignificant mortal' look.  
  
"I'm putting these maths books away" his patronising tones making the look seem worse.  
  
The year eight class looked up from their simultaneous equations, eager to see what Mrs Hopkins would do.  
  
"Have you tried room seven?" she suggested.  
  
Mr Hughes gave her another dirty look before leaving the room to go to room seven.  
  
  
  
Japan, being twelve hours ahead of England had already let their kids out (lucky buggers) now, most of these kids were either watching t.v, playing video games, talking to their friends, or doing their homework. 9:00 wensday night, 13 year old Kari Kamiya was doing the latter. Or was pretending to any way. Her mom had said that her older brother Tai had to stay out of their shared room whilst she was doing her homework. Having finished that a long time ago, she was now surfing the net.  
  
Takeru Takeshi, known as T.K to his many friends was also surfing the web. He e-mailed Kari and they spoke for a while.  
  
  
  
13 year old Bonnie Green looked up at the clock. She had just 30 minutes to complete these equations. Being a bit of a geek she enjoyed maths and was quite good at it. Let's see she thought 3x+5y=6 4x-5y=8 7x =14 X =2 6+5y=6  
5y=6-6  
5y=0 Simple! She had soon finished all her equations and was putting up her hand to say so. She glanced at the clock. 9:29. After maths was one of her favourite subjects. English! Then her best subject of all, Recess! Hey, even geniuses need a break. Heh, she was even thinking of taking it as a G.S.C.E  
  
  
  
All was not good in the staff room. Satan (a.k.a. miss Richardson.) had taken Mr Hughes' seat and Miss martin Had just declared the school bankrupt. On the bright side however, one of the ever-unsmiling I.T technicians had just discovered a digital world. Mr Hughes grinned evilly and started formulating a team of teachers to take it over.  
  
"Right I'll need Mr charlesworth because geography is his life. That and locking kids out of their classrooms and sitting in the little room beside room 44 talking to him. Herr Hitler.I mean Handley can come because he knows a lot of different languages and we might need to communicate with any thing living inside it. We'll also need Mr. Cleary because he's the I.t teacher and I lov.I mean he'll be quite good. Now.science.we'll have to have miss venton.now where is she?" (Looks down) "Oh great.some girls must have locked her in a locker again. Oh well. It's quite spacious for her. I'll get her later."  
  
  
  
"Kari, bed!" Kari's mum shouted to her daughter. Kari sighed, signed off and got changed for bed. She looked at the time. 10:20. Some where, quite far away, another 13 year old was grinning at her friends jokes as she looked forward to her next lesson. MATHS!  
  
***************************************************** Author: sorry. This is a.a. Elecmon: a result of too many beers? Author: I don't drink beer! Its Guinness! Elecmon: oh. Louise: where the hell do I come in?! 


	2. this is horrible

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon. I wish I owned the teachers at my school but I don't, 'nuff said  
  
"So what did you call us here for?" asked Davis.  
  
"There's a threat to the digital world!" awnserd Yolie  
  
"Is there ever not one?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
*********************************************  
  
Scene: a huge tower. Lighting strikes and creepy music plays.  
  
"Excuse me, monsieur Hughes?"  
  
"Yes Herr hitl…… errrrr handly?"  
  
"These digimon speak worse French than Helena day and worse German than Harriet jacks.." he was silenced by a squawking noise as a girl with an unusually long fringe yelled "don't call me Harriet or else!" (A/N: hey you wanted to get a mention didn't you? Sorry about this, but I can't resist()  
  
"What are you waiting for then?" the man sitting on the throne in front of him asked, "go teach them German! There should be some pupils in the torture chamber."  
  
Mr. Handly went off rubbing his hands together and cackling evilly. Mr. Cleary walked in.  
  
"Excuse me sir, but there appear to be digidestined in the digital world."  
  
"excellent……send out the flying monkeys!"  
  
Mr. Cleary immediately to set the flying monkeys on the digidestined. (A/N: if you want to get a mental picture of the flying monkeys, then think Sara lands. If you do not know what Sara lands looks like, think short with Sylvester glasses, an evil grin, sharp teeth and an ambition to take over the world.)  
  
Upon seeing the evil Sara lands monkeys flying towards them, the digidestined began to run. And frankly I don't blame them. On seeing Sara lands most people run. I don't run. I scream and hide. So do the other sensible people. Or cowards. Depends how you see it.  
  
Mr. Hughes laughed evilly. "MWA HA HA HA, BWA HA HA HA!!!!!!! I have finnaly beaten those digidestined!" he shouted  
  
"not so fast!" came a voice behind him. Mr hughes turned around to see…ME!  
  
Using the powers of the author, I destroyed the monkey thingees and the tower leaving the evil teachers out in the rain.  
  
Mr. Charlesworth turned his attention to me. "B. Green! You will get a misconduct mark for this!"  
  
"Actually, she will get a detention!" eeeppp! I had forgotten about the power of the teachers! It was time to make a desperate and daring escape!  
  
"Gotta go!" I said and crawled back under the rock I came out from.  
  
There was silence as the digidestined did that whole blink blink thing and the teachers decided what sort of punishment to give me. I decided to write the next bit using the power of screenplay:  
  
DD's:  
  
Teachers:  
  
Cody: shouldn't we be fighting?  
  
Me: damn right! (Hide back under rock as teachers shoot me looks)  
  
DD's:  
  
Teachers:  
  
Me: (bangs head on rock. repeatedly. tumbleweed rolls past.)  
  
Gatomon: I've had enough of this! Lighting paw! (Takes out Miss venton. Using my author powers once more, I open a digiport and send through.)  
  
V-Mon: veeheadbutt!  
  
Elecmon: electric shock!  
  
Me: so I don't know his attack, I hate hawkmon and the only reason I put Cody in this is from sympathy.  
  
Yolie: you hate hawkmon?! Prepare to face the wrath of the undubbed! Yolie digivolve to…Miyako! Now I shall use my slap-upside-the-head move!  
  
Me: ahhhh! Kill it! Kill it! (Runs with Yolie chasing after her.)  
  
(A/N: this next bit wasn't my idea! It was tashas!)  
  
Tasha: leave her alone before I am forced to set the cat on you!  
  
Me: by cat do you mean…  
  
Daz: yes human mortal! She will set me on you! I am Dazzle the spawn of hell! According to the author's uncle who has taken an extreme disliking to me. Dunno why, only mauled him a few times.  
  
Me: so tash. Let me get this right. You are setting my cat on some one. Am I correct?  
  
Tash: yes!  
  
Me: why?  
  
Tash: I like the power rush! I will train Ella up to be as murderous as Dazzle and then we shall rule the world! (Giggles manicly) he he he (goes off muttering about ruling the world. Yolie walks off muttering about slapping people.)  
  
Daz: (sweatdrops) anyways. I have come to destroy you all! (Pulls out an atomic bomb) die!  
  
Ahem. I have decided to end it here. It got a little mad. To see if everyone survived, wait till next time Helena threatens to kill me!  
  
Louise: I still didn't feature in it! Me: you didn't threaten to kill me! 


End file.
